relational therapy

Never before have we wanted so much from our relationships — yet we lack the tools to succeed.“

Given enough time, all relationships get messy, stuck in patterns of misunderstanding and despair. In the middle of a relational crisis, when the chaos of pain, argument and resentment seems impossible to untangle, it can be hard to determine the path of love. Some of us rage and relentlessly vent, while others go cold and withdraw. Some seek affection outside a dead relationship, while others are fine to let a passionless marriage become no more than a long-term roommate situation.

How did we get here?

When we were kids, nobody taught us how to be relationally healthy. At best we learned from our parents, and maybe a few families in our neighbourhood, but these lessons were often steeped in a culture that prioritized individuality over relationality, men over women, control over collaboration. It was a patriarchal “me first” world, and because of this unfortunate relational schooling, our marriages, partnerships, family connections and friendships have suffered.

So how do we remember love in the middle of our relational pain? If the relationship isn’t DOA, then that love is still there, underneath the sorrow, mistrust and resentment. The emotional human heart is the most resilient muscle of them all. It is an attachment machine.

How do we fire up the engine of love?

I use Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy (RLT) with couples to build real intimacy and address emotional challenges. Relational Life Therapy (RLT) was developed over decades of practice and research by Terry Real, an internationally recognized family therapist, and author. RLT provides a powerful methodology to end relational stagnation or ongoing emotional conflict.

It is relatively easy to give couples communication skills; the problem is, few couples use them. In the heat of the moment, we get triggered, we explode, we switch off and go blank—-and we can’t seem to stop our unhelpful behaviours. It’s like we’re on automatic-pilot.

RLT works at a deeper level, helping to treat the obstinate and triggered parts of ourselves that throw skills out the window! As Terry Real says, “Most couple therapies will teach you skills. RLT will help you work with the part that doesn’t want to use them…” RLT’s trauma-informed process helps partners begin to understand what is driving their unrelational behaviours, and what to do about it. Once each partner is in touch with their grounded, wise center—-they can start using the tools successfully as a team.

RLT skills and practices can be used to relate lovingly to yourself, your partner or spouse, to your family and friends, or to those with whom you struggle to be understood and acknowledged. Terry Real reminds us that, “as we learn to think and act relationally, we grow up. We move from a ‘me and you’ to an ‘us’.”

I work with adults and couples. I do not work with children and teens.

I WORK EXCLUSIVELY ONLINE 

GRIEF THERAPY

If you’re grieving, you’ve come to the right place.

Grief is hard, It can take us to our emotional breaking point. I have several decades of practice, study and training in the art and science of bereavement counselling. If you have lost a spouse, mother, father, child, had a miscarriage or stillbirth, lost a grandparent, friend or pet, I can help. If you’ve lost someone by illness, disease, are recovering from an abortion, a sudden loss, a suicide, murder, traffic fatality, disappearance or disaster, I can help.

During grief we can end up feeling TOO MUCH and become overwhelmed or TOO LITTLE and wind up frozen and chronically numb. If we don’t learn how to tenderly and intentionally release and make room for our hurt, to actually feel our own heart-break, this suffering can prolong indefinitely.

Grief can awaken old wounds. When we lose someone, it’s common for ungrieved losses to burble up from inside.  Many times, childhood and other relational traumas can be reactivated by grief, leaving us anxious, fearful and overwhelmed. I specialize in helping people work with intense grief while remaining ever mindful of the old traumas that can arise out of fresh grief.

You may wish to seek out help if you’re experiencing substantial guilt, dark thoughts of non-being, extreme hopelessness, prolonged anxiety or depression, unrelenting physical symptoms like gastrointestinal troubles, headaches or autoimmune issues, uncontrollable rage, persistent functional impairment or a growing dependence on substances.

I work with adults, adult families, and couples.

THERAPY

Therapy is a conversation about change. It grows out of our mutual respect and curiosity. I will assist you in tuning into your body, beliefs, and self-defeating patterns to increase your ability to stay present through difficult life circumstances. We will help you identify your core fears, gifts, and needs and make choices about them with more awareness and self-compassion. 

We don’t aim to mold you into an untouchable heroic super-person who never doubts, fears or messes up, but rather to animate your love, kindness and boundary-setting with self, family, friends and the world. Therapy can aid with depression, anxiety, trauma, spiritual crisis, self-esteem, self-sabotage, life transitions, addiction issues, and communication in relationships.

I work with adults and couples. I do not work with children and teens.

I WORK EXCLUSIVELY ONLINE.

THERAPY PRICING

Individual online therapy: $180 CA per hour

Individual online therapy (international): $180 US per hour

Couples online therapy: $225 CA per hour

Couples online therapy (international): $225 US per hour

Online: E-transfer and most credit cards. International fees to be paid using the PayPal app.

Cancellation Policy: More than 48 hours’ notice is required to cancel or reschedule an appointment, otherwise you will be charged an administrative fee equivalent to the cost of the missed session.

PLEASE NOTE: All payments are non-refundable.